Breakups are hard but they also give you a chance to find and redefine yourself. It is always hard to go through it, but it tells you about your pain points and the areas you need to work on. It leaves you with little energy but you must aim that energy in improving yourself and learn self love. Here’s how you can learn to love yourself after a breakup.
– Don’t remember the negativity of your relationship
In a toxic relationship or a messy breakup, people often say mean and hurtful things. Your ex might have said something to berate your personality. Remembering them would mean you believe them, that you think whatever they have said is true.
And when someone you love throws them at you, it tells you that you need to work on them and not let them break you. Even if your relationship was loving and ended peacefully, you often end up asking yourself where did you go wrong.
Obsessing over those awful words will not help you. Instead, understand what they meant to say and work on it to become a better person.
– Grieve
Most people try to force themselves out of their breakup by dressing up sexily, drinking, partying or distracting themselves in any way that they can. These things work but at the later stage of the healing process. You must give yourself some time to grieve first. If you are feeling sad, angry or resentful, it’s perfectly okay. It doesn’t feel nice but it is natural to feel like that. If you don’t grieve, you are denying yourself permission to heal. Take your time to grieve and heal.
– Forgive
A broken relationship could be anyone’s fault, could be no one’s or maybe both of you screwed up. Accepting the fact that the relationship has come to an end is beneficial.
Forgive yourself and your ex. This one step is hard but important for rebuilding yourself as an individual. Remember, as human beings we are prone to do mistake but we should try not to repeat them.
But we must learn from our mistakes and grow from them. Every relationship is a teacher, so take your lesson from them.
Review what you want in your future, from your relationship and the kind of people you want to attract. Without forgiving, you won’t be able to move on.
– Indulge in your creative side
Rather than drinking, partying and hooking up with random people, let your creative side take charge. Start gardening, decorate your room, paint, read, do whatever you enjoy doing.
Being creative will drain out all the negativity from inside you and the bitterness of your relationship. It will also help you understand your inner self and in healing as well.
Hobbies keep you happy and engaged along with keeping you away from making mistakes that most heart-broken people make.
You will be giving yourself some time and will be nourishing your creativity which is again like you learn self love to pamper yourself and your creativity.
– Stop looking at yourself with your ex’s eyes
You must remember that you are not every bad thing that your ex said about you. Some of them were said just to hurt you. You must see and analyse yourself separate from your relationship.
Don’t let your image of yourself be born from the painful descriptions, angry comments and hurtful words of your ex.
Once you realize that all those words were not you and they have hurt your self-respect, you can start working on yourself and your self-respect again.
– Create a negativity-free zone
Set some boundaries for yourself and for others as well. Stay away from the people who try to berate you and hurt your self-respect.
Don’t indulge in unnecessary commitments, draining activities, and unwanted obligations. And don’t give in if your ex tries to get back together with you.
Remember that relationship left you broken and feeling bad about yourself. No matter what they say, don’t do that to yourself.
These are a few ways through which you can learn self love after a broken relationship. Always remember, you are not all your ex said about you.
You must be kind to yourself and give yourself some time to grieve over all that’s lost. Don’t bury your feelings but don’t let them consume you as well. “Times Heal All Wounds” and for that need to be patient. Only then, you will be ab;e to love yourself.
